Why Stoicism for Recovery?

Welcome back everyone!!!

It has been quite a bit of time since I wrote a blog for this site. In the two years since I had last written one, I have been spending my time writing two recovery and philosophy books (A Stoic Guidebook for Recovery which is now published and The Twelve Steps and Stoicism which is being edited) and a fantasy book under the pseudonym of DC Landon (which I am currently completing the first part to). It had long been a dream for me to be a writer and the fact that I am achieving this in my own ways finally in my years of recovery is making me realize how life really does get better in sobriety.

The blogs I have written for this site, I am truly grateful for. They are what began the fire inside of me that led to finally having a published book. And so it has always been a desire for me to return to them once again. And looking back through what I have written as I searched for a topic to write on, it occurred to me that I never answered the most simple question of all…why Stoicism for recovery? 

And to answer this question, all that I can do is what we so often do in recovery…share our story and see the similarities that they might contain. So for this blog, I will discuss why Stoicism has been the path for me for a better life after addiction, and all that I can hope is that you find a part of yourself within my words and why it might be something that could help you as well. Because at the end of the day, the only reason why I do this is to help one addict at a time toward a better life beyond addiction.

In my second book, I describe addiction as being caught in the torment and turmoil of a hurricane that can leave a path of destruction throughout so many areas of our lives. And when I look back at the hurricane of my own addictions, there is one thing that becomes quite apparent to me. I did not like the person that I became. I was a liar, a cheater, a thief. I took advantage and did not value the relationships (as a bf, father, son, and friend) that I had in life. I tried to assert my control over any and everyone around me, always wanting things to be the way I wanted them to be. I took the many years of hard work that I put into getting a successful career as a teacher and destroyed them all so that it was no longer possible for me to work in that profession. But most of all…when I look back at who I became with the eyes of recovery now…I do not like the person that I was. Was I an evil person? I wouldn’t quite say that. But was I a good person? I definitely could say that I was not. 

Which is why I needed a different way of living in recovery.

Stoicism is a philosophy of life, which is basically your overall attitude toward life and what the purpose of it is. We all have a philosophy of life buried within all of us. However, many people rarely spend time defining it for themselves. Have you ever thought about your own? What is your purpose in life? How will you know if you have lived a good life when you come to the end of your days? These are questions that everyone should answer if they are to live a deep and truly fulfilling life.

Definitely, during my addictions, my philosophy of life tended to lean towards that of a hedonist (yes it is a philosophy of life), viewing life as the pursuit of pleasure (even though by the end of my addictions, I was not getting much pleasure from them anymore). I saw life through the eyes of living it to the fullest, bouncing from mindless pleasure to mindless pleasure to maximize my satisfaction. And living that way led me down the maddening dark spiral of addiction and destruction of anything and everything around me. For me, a life that is solely focused on pleasure became meaningless. 

Now the Stoics, they view that the purpose of life is the pursuit of virtue; excellence of character. The goal that a person should have on any given day is to be the best person they could possibly be. It isn’t about pleasure…it is about who you are. And satisfaction in life is attained by living a good life with no regrets. The way one can achieve this is through living the four virtues of Stoicism (courage, justice, temperance and wisdom) which I wrote about in the first blog I ever wrote for this site. One reason why someone (like me) might choose to follow the philosophy of Stoicism is that you gain wisdom and learn various mental practices and techniques that allow for you to live the four virtues so that you can achieve a good life through becoming the best person you can be each day. After spending so many years of living the wrong way in my addiction, I needed guidance on how to live the right way in my recovery. And a couple thousand years of wisdom seemed like a good choice for me to make.

The beauty of all of this is that it is something that can be accessible for anyone, no matter what their life situation might be. I could practice Stoicism when I was jobless, poor, living in my small room in a sober living as much as I can now with my new career, own apartment, remarried and living comfortably. To be a good person will always be the same no matter where you find yourself in life. It is possible for you…right now…today.

So to answer that question…Why Stoicism for Recovery?

Addiction can often bring out the worst parts of a human being. We do not often shine with our best characteristics while under the gnawing claws of it. Therefore, in recovery it can become essential for us to live a new way. And I am not sure about you, but for me, living to be the best human being I could be and shining with excellence of character seemed to be quite the worthy goal for my recovery. It pushes away the selfishness of my addictive ways as I selflessly live through courage, justice, temperance and wisdom.  

And depending on how far your addictions dragged you down, we could find a variety of situations we are in when we choose to traverse the path of recovery. You could be someone like me who had lost everything (career, home, family and friends, possessions, etc.) or maybe it did not have that much of an impact so that you barely lost anything at all. But the fact that this philosophy can work for any person in any life situation that they might find themselves in, allows for this to be embraced and followed by individuals from all walks of life.

I could also discuss how Stoicism taught me how to handle my emotions rather than running away from them. How I began to see all the challenges that I face in life with a positive perspective. I can describe how it allowed for me to realize the true wisdom that is contained within the Serenity Prayer. Or how it gave me a philosophical background to the Cognitive Behavior Therapy (it is the foundation for it) that I was given during my multiple times in rehab.

So why Stoicism for my recovery?

When I needed to find a new path to live because my old way of living was bringing me down a winding path of darkness, I chose to follow a new one that asks me to become a better person everyday. And I can have this any time I desire no matter what is going on in life or what my situation is. I am forever thankful for the guidance that the Ancient and Modern Stoics have given me to achieve this. And now all I wish to do is share the same message that I have been given with my fellow Brothers and Sisters in addiction and recovery.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey through you reading this.